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reserve your ad hereI’ve told the story of how I started hosting free community-building events for Northern California women in cannabis a few times, but I’ve never shared the full story of why. It began during a dark period in my life, and I don’t like to revisit it for long. Like many, I entered the cannabis space with bright eyes and hopeful idealism. It felt like a calling. I believe this plant has the potential to deeply heal, and I fell in love with the community I found and the notion that we could shape a new industry and create a more equitable way of doing business. And for a while, it felt like we were building it.
It’s been about two years since the lowest point in my life thus far. Working in this industry puts you through it. I dealt with the instability, with getting laid off by brands that couldn’t make it. I forged myself against the rampant sexism and being constantly underestimated. I recovered from a former collaborator stealing my ideas and money. I was determined to stick it out. Until I found myself in a toxic workplace that literally made me sick. My mental and physical health deteriorated, and I no longer recognized myself. In what could be a moment of the universe pulling the rug out from under me, during this period, I also had a major health scare. My doctors found three massive tumors right when I lost my health insurance. During my spiral downwards, I lost my why, my connection to why I chose to enter this space.
I took a moment to take stock of my situation: I was not thriving. I did not feel hopeful. The industry was not thriving or hopeful either. Brands folding, doors closing, farms going fallow. Everyone I knew was laid off or leaving. I thought about trying to find work elsewhere, to rebuild, but when I looked inward, this was not an option. I did not want to leave. What could I, as one person, do to help myself and help make things better? What was important to me? This brought me back to my why. Why I entered cannabis in the first place. The plant was a healer for me, but the community that I found was the congregation and the choir. It was the church.
I decided to host a gathering for other women in the space to come together, share, and hopefully gain back some of that initial hope and enthusiasm—lofty goals for a four-hour event on a Saturday. I invited a sound healer and cultivator I admired, a yoga instructor, and every woman I knew in cannabis locally. My house was full! We had almost 30 women doing yoga in my living room and kitchen. We smoked, commiserated, and made vision boards. It was the happiest I’d been in some time. I held another event in March and kept on doing them. I started to spread the word and invite more people. Some women did not understand what I was doing or why, or ignored me, or questioned my intentions, or thought my events were competing against their own. It took time for this to catch on. I understand that what I’m building is different.
It’s now been almost two years of free monthly community-building events all across Northern California. Each one is different: from retreats to pool parties to themed events. We’ve done dab bars, made roach clips, terpene tastings, cacao, bath bombs, breathwork, yoga, reiki, and more. But the one thing that’s always constant is the positive, joyful energy that builds up when we come together. Women from the community have stepped up to offer their time, contribute their talents in leading workshops, and are co-building the community alongside me. There is a magic in it, born from authenticity.
As these events get bigger and expand, I’ve had to close them and start waitlists. It has been so much work. Especially as I found a job I enjoyed again and have less free time. Running a non-monetized monthly event series alongside all my other work and responsibilities is something many people question: “Why don’t you charge and get compensated?” I understand why people ask this. Living in a capitalist society, we are taught that our labor only has value if we are paid for it. I value this labor myself because it has value to me. I am being compensated in joy, connection, creation, and creativity. The emails, messages, and in-person talks I’ve had with women who have attended these events and found their community, their motivation to keep going, and their why, feed my soul.
The truth is, creating these events healed me when I needed it most. The community I’ve found has been nourishing, motivating, and energizing. It helped me get back on my feet and land in a better place. That’s worth more than revenue from ticket sales.
This whole process has also taught me a few things: I can do amazing things. I can make things happen. Not only that, I can do it again and again FOR FREE. I’m producing really cool events once a month, with a budget of zero. I’m creating something special and fun and memorable out of thin air. I’m a fucking magician.
Feature photo credit: @ashley_ann_photos
