I want to talk to you about tools and later some really intriguing cannabis from Heavy Metal in Massachusetts. The reason why I say tools is pretty simple. Unless you “pulverize and grind” your cannabis in your hands- Rastafarian stylee’ or live where hash is produced, you’d probably use a metal grinder for this somewhat mundane task.
The reason why I say mundane is pretty succinct. Hand-grinding a bud of your favorite cannabis does one of two things. First, it breaks down the fragile bud into smokable or roll-able parts. Then it separates out the kief. I’m still wondering why that’s important.
I like my kief to be covering the flowers, not en-robing the metal screen. Those three and four-part grinders are not doing you any service. They’re mangling your expensive flowers into a mushy, bitter paste or, worse, dried out and terpene-less. A poor grinder is like making a lousy mint julep with mushy, semi-frozen mint. If you muddle the semi-frozen mint too much, it becomes an indiscernible black sludge, unpalatable at the very best. Just like the plethora of mint juleps, I endured at the Kentucky Derby several years ago in the mud and the pouring rain.
That’s what happens when you over-grind your flowers. They become an odoriferous mess.
The reason why I say that a grinder is a tool is because it provides a function, not just a metaphor. I wonder why it’s important to put many screens in a grinder. Why does the kief have to be separated from the flower? Doesn’t it make sense to keep it nestled next to your expensive flowers? Who thought this was a good idea to separate the kief from your buds? And what about the added expense to the consumer?
It reminds me of the addition of caramel coloring to rum in the marketing-driven; dark rum is older, therefore, more expensive. Only the color is added, just like stripping out the fine resin and kief into your metal grinder.
The Kind, by MMJGRIND, is not made of metal; it’s some form of composite material that is lightweight and durable.
Kind by MMJGRIND is also the tool for your cannabis toolkit that is extremely clever in design.
It may well be the finest cannabis grinder in the world from both a physical design and a functional one too. A big statement? Perhaps. But I put this tool to the test over a two-week period, and I’m convinced, it really works to make my job easier.
My wrists are also convinced that with this tool, I’ve experienced none of the fatigue I usually feel with my smaller, metal grinders.
Here are my thoughts:
1. Design: Classic with some really unique features, namely the angled grinding teeth and the flexible inner ring.
2. Colorways- a shade of Robin’s Egg/Tiffany Blue surrounds the White with a very clever QR code imprinted on the top and an adroit logo on the other indented side.
3. Shape: Vaguely reminiscent of a Yo-Yo, but that’s my visual representation. The sides possess crafty places for your fingers to go.
4. ADA: People with limited mobility in their hands and wrists will marvel at the usability of this tool. It does not get wet from your hands, and it has no slippage! The wide shape makes it super easy to turn, even with super-tight buds.
5. That Funky Ring inside: It keeps your buds inside the grinder, and it also makes this tool work effortlessly. The interior has angled teeth made from an extremely durable material that fluff the cannabis buds instead of destroying them. The angle of the teeth makes your expensive flowers puffy and light… And the kief is intact to the flowers, that potent stuff that is stripped away in lesser grinders.
6. Easy To Clean: It’s super easy to clean. I used a touch of ISO on a Q-tip with warm water on the side. Sure, the trichomes of your flower will stick to the interior of the tool, but despair not; your MMJGRIND is super easy to keep perfectly brand new looking and operating. If I can do it, so can you!
The flower that I ground up this morning was a departure from my diet of cannabis from California and New Mexico. I took a couple of days off to re-tune my palate, and then I delved right into another direction. That would be the fine flowers from Heavy Metal. Do you remember my interview a couple of months back with the founder of Heavy Metal Cannabis up in Massachusetts? Well, I’ve been able to attain some samples of the Massachusetts-grown herb and run it through my new classic—the MMJGRIND tool. The results are a pleasure to share, and tasting notes follow.
Heavy Metal: Tropicanna Banana- a clever play on the orange juice brand with the addition of an extra N, this strain borders on pungent at first sniff. No candy scents here! Enjoying the terpenes unfold into my olfactory, I’m pleased to share that unmistakable confluence of peach buckle and banana compote. The toasty notes of graham cracker and freshly snipped toasted sage come into view bringing scattered coins of jalapeño (those spicy notes) and dollops of freshly churned and salted Amish butter. This is outstanding cannabis, grown by people who want you to have a great experience. The quality of the grinder has everything to do with the potential of the smoke. Starting with well “fluffed” buds makes the overall experience fresh and unforgettable.
Appearance: Tightly wound flowers, carefully hand-trimmed, and the weight of the 3.5-gram glass wrapped-dark colored bottle was actually 3.7 grams on my scale. A bit over is always a nice touch. Buds are on the small side, but carefully cured and then clearly hand-trimmed. They are fluorescent green with ample touches of orange hairs. Hints of purple come into view with some brighter light. Crystalline in nature, the buds sparkle and shine in the light of my LED/ Artimede desk lamp. It’s really beautiful when the purple elements reveal themselves. Gorgeous flower!
Nose: Peach Buckle and touches of tropical fruit puree and snipped pan-toasted sage. There’s a heart-of-darkness-tinged pungency lurking just behind soothing dollops of salty Amish butter and swirls of cedar-tinged smoke. This is not sweet cannabis, and I’m super happy about that. Banana is just a misnomer in this case. The closest thing I can detect is a heap of banana/corn grits sizzling on a flat-top griddle until toasty and spooning some shrimp gravy over the top. This is truly craft-propagated cannabis that smells as delicious as it tastes.
Sativa? Oh yes, it is–with a hint of indica from the Banana Kush. Impressive indeed. I want to let you know that I don’t feel overwhelmed, yet I am purposeful in my descriptors. This is the perfect strain for getting things done. And what a beautiful strain it is. I mostly smoke Indica and the like, but this is massaging my brain in a way I haven’t felt in some time.
Stone: Again, this is the perfect “Wake and Bake” Strain. I’d love to infuse some into a jar of Massachusetts Maple Syrup in my Levo2, then luxuriate a plate of pancakes in the THC-infused, dark syrup. Heavy Metal makes it easy for me to medicate myself to a plateau of pure cannabis satisfaction. Great job!
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Warren Bobrow has been a dishwasher, the owner of the first company to make fresh pasta in South Carolina , a television engineer and he even worked at Danceteria in NYC, then a trained chef which led to a twenty year career in private banking. A cannabis, wine and travel aficionado, Warren is a former rum judge and craft spirits national brand ambassador. He works full time in the cannabis business as an alchemist/journalist. Cocktailwhisperer.com Drinkklaus.com Instagram: warrenbobrow http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Bobrow